I want to start talking about my life and what happened during my week or on that day a bit more because I talk about it to Penny from My Life Anonymously over email and I quite like doing it so I thought why not!
For about a week now my friend Anna (not her real name) has been kind of angry with my group of friends. The reason for this is because in the holidays me, Ash and Kay planned to go out together to go to the movies (although Ash didn’t end up coming) and she got angry at us because we didn’t invite her.
While it’s understandable that she would feel left out, she is being a bit dramatic and exaggerating about what happened.
First of all, every time we invited her out with us previously she declined because she wanted to do something else. The first time she said she had to go to church and she REFUSED to skip it even just once. The second time she said we told her too late (it was only 7:00 pm) so she couldn’t go. So this time we just assumed that she wouldn’t go again.
But when she found out that we went out together she got REALLY angry at us. She ignored us for about 3 days and she doesn’t sit with our group now at lunch and recess.
But the weird thing is that she acts like she hates us most of the time but when we get into class, like I have history with her, it’s like we’re best friends again and everything is completely normal. It’s so weird and I don’t understand her at all.
But Anna is leaving on the 9th of June, a few days after my birthday, and she’s moving to the Gold Coast (Queensland) so I guess it won’t matter too much because she will be gone soon. I think I will still miss her though and I don’t want her to leave on a bad note but I don’t think she will change her mind about not liking us so I’ve kind of just accepted that it’s going to happen.
I do get really anxious and worried though when people don’t like me because it makes me feel like I’m not good enough and everyone must feel that way so it really increases my anxiety. It’s not her problem really and I know she isn’t intentionally doing it but it’s been making me feel so horrible for like 2 weeks straight.
Today in maths we were working on ratios and simplifying and stuff, and I’m not very good at maths, like I’m alright but I’m not as good as other people and I feel quite self conscious about it.
Anyway we were working on that stuff and the teacher assigned us a few questions so I was doing them but I had one of those blank moments when you sort of forget everything so I asked Ash “What’s 28 divided by 2?” and she answered “Are you serious? That’s so easy, how can you not know that?” Then she went on this whole rant about how it’s the easiest question then she told me how to do it in a really weird way so I was so confused and when I asked her what she meant by what she had showed me she looked at me again and said “Oh my god, you suck. How do you not know how to do this?” And then this other girl who is in my netball team said “Jags, I need to work on my netball skills and you need to work on your maths.”
I was getting like really embarrassed because everyone was going off at me because I didn’t understand what they trying to tell me and I was just getting so panicky. So eventually after everyone was telling me all this stuff I just said “Whatever, okay I get it now.” And went back to my work cause I was just sick of everyone being like that.
Obviously they wouldn’t know but I’ve never been good at maths and in primary school I sucked so bad because I was scared of saying the answers and asking for help because I thought everyone would think I’m stupid. Today in maths it felt like that again and it made me feel so horrible and stupid like I was worse than everyone else.
I’m good at hiding my emotions though so when I felt like bursting into tears in the middle of the classroom I just pretended like everything was okay and kept my head down and looked at my paper.
One of my good friends, let’s call her Sam, is leaving my school to go to a different one in about 7 weeks. It sucks, I’m going to miss her so much but we live in the same area so we will see each other at the bus interchange.
That’s all the stuff that’s been happening in my life lately, I hope you guys enjoyed this post and let me know if you would like another one!