Everyone seemed to really love my Types Of Bloggers post I did a little while ago (I really enjoyed making it as well) and I got quite a few requests to do a sequel so here it is!
You do NOT have to tell us all about your first time in that much detail. And I don’t need to know about how your ex-boyfriends mouth tasted like tuna. Why are you telling me all about your grandfathers horrific heart surgery again?
Please, stop! My young pre-pubescent mind cannot take all this!
Ah! My eyes! My eyes!
Please stop sharing all of these fabulous memories you have in Spain and Italy and Japan. Seeing you do all of these amazing things just makes me feel so much worse. No! Not the bikini pictures! Don’t make me feel guilty for that whole tub of ice cream I just consumed in under 5 minutes! And, oh, the parties! How come I’ve never even looked at an invitation for a party and you seem to go to one every weekend? Is it even possible for someone to have that many friends! Oh, and perfect, you have a hot boyfriend with a six pack! Now that grubby 12 year old I kissed on the cheek in Year 6 seems like nothing compared to this guy!
HOW CAN ANYONE BE THIS TALENTED?
HAVE I BEEN GIVEN THE WRONG GENES?
WHERE IS MY AMAZING DANCE MOVES AND ANGEL-LIKE VOICE?
You know who I’m talking about.
That person that cracks all the jokes and blurts out the cheesy puns.
I mean, they get pretty annoying right?
All those posts making fun of other people and creating random chatty blogs where they go on about stupid things that don’t even make sense. Who would EVER follow one of those bloggers, am I right?
I bet they’re making a ‘Types of Bloggers’ post right now describing all the people they hate, making really not funny jokes and at the end creating some kind of summary to make it seem like they’re ironic little shits. But just before you close the tab they’ll come out with the ‘Only joking! I love all these people!’ when deep inside they just want to be like all these bloggers and are secretly jealous of their skills.
Wait a minute…
They must have a LOT of spare time and a very big imagination because these bloggers create like 5 posts each day.
My emails are just filled with notifications that this blogger has posted 50 BILLION MORE INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND STORY TIMES AND Q&A’S.
Do the even sleep? Or eat?
Maybe they’re zombies…
Hey, this is a good theory I’m working on here.
I might be on to something!
Hold on a minute I’m just gonna go to Google…Zombie Bloggers…Yep! It’s a thing. I’m onto you, you super bloggers!
And that’s the end!
Again; I’m ironic and stupid so don’t take this too seriously.
Also, I’ve got a special surprise coming up that I’m doing with Penny and I’m super excited to share with you guys . I hope you all look forward to it because I certainly am!