Let me recap a few things that have happened in the first two weeks of 2017.
1. My beauty battle scar
This morning as I was curling my hair with a curling wand, I placed the wand down on the floor, where I was sat cross legged, to take out a hair tie. Without considering the burning hot beauty tool right at my leg, I shifted around a bit and placed my calf right on top of the curling wand. OUCH. Burn, sizzle, screech, there goes my beautiful soft skin. I now have a curling wand shaped burn going up my calf which is lovely. If anyone asks I’ll just tell them I was captured by pirates and they branded me. Believable, I know.
2. The wax incident
I can’t remember if I recounted this story to you guys, but last week I had a candle burning on a shelf that’s built into my desk. I was sitting at my desk on my laptop, about to go to bed. I brought the candle down off the shelf and blew it out but then as I was returning it to the shelf, it somehow slipped out of my hand and fell straight onto my laptop. It was a disaster. There was, and still is, candle wax all over my desk, some papers, the floor, a pencil case, and most importantly, my laptop. I spent the next week using toothpicks and wet wipes to dig out the endless batch of wax shoved into the keys of my laptop. The stiff ‘P’ and the stubborn ‘-‘ still haunt me to this day.
3. The not-so giant spider
A few nights ago as I was happily sitting in bed watching Gilmore Girls, a movement behind my bookshelf caught my eye. As I watched an odd shaped brown stick that was poking out from behind the bookshelf, suddenly a colossal monster of an arachnid came popping out after it. I actually screamed a blood curdling scream like they do in horror movies. This thing was HUGE. Like, the size of a grown man’s hand. I was having an actual panic attack while I stood on my bed in fear, trying to merge myself into the wall, as I waited for someone to come investigate my urgent cries of fear. Of course, my inconsiderate family ignored my screams and so I had to mentally prepare myself to sprint past the bookshelf and lunge myself out of the door and into the lounge room. Thankfully, I was successful and the spider did not jump out and eat my face. I ran up to my dad who was casually watching TV and told him of the monster in my room. He went up there and banged around for awhile, whilst I sat on the couch, trembling with tears in my eyes. Finally he came out with his tissue scrunched up in his fist and told me he’d got it. But when he put the tissue in the bin, I caught a glimpse of the slightly mangled spider inside. This was not the spider I had seen. This one was the size of my eye. I sent my dad back to my room to check again but he said there was nothing there. Perhaps it had been a trick of my imagination? But I was convinced he’d caught the wrong spider. I was forced to go back to bed and I spent the rest of the night in fear, awaiting a big hairy leg that would stroke my forehead, followed by a 20 kilo spider that would devour me in one swallow. That didn’t happen but I’m still slightly on edge as I sit at my desk, peering under my bed and in my bookshelf to make sure it hasn’t hidden somewhere. If I never post on here again, tell my parents it was the spider and it’s my dad’s fault.
4. Restaurant panic
This one’s a bit more serious. So I was down at my nans for a part of my holidays and on the last night of our stay, our whole family (all 20 of us) went out to dinner. We just went to a pub but bloody hell, it was crowded. We were cramped in at two tables in the corner where we had to sit on table corners and eat at the window sill. So yeah that was lovely. But to make matters worse, I’d been having horrible anxiety that whole day and wasn’t looking forward to that dinner. I also had a stomach bug and was feeling incredibly sick, but no matter how much I complained, I still had to go to this dinner. So we sat down and had drinks and I talked to my cousin and that was fine. And the food came out (I got fish and chips. Adventurous, I know) and everyone ate and it was actually pretty good. But then my stomach bug kicked in and I began feeling sick. I asked my mum if we could go soon and she was all like no no I have to finish my drink (which was a full glass of wine, I might add, which takes her about an hour to drink) so I sat there in misery on the verge of vomiting all over the table. I asked again if we could go but I was let down and pushed away again. This was when the anxiety came in. I began panicking and felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I was on the verge of tears and I could feel my chest feeling really compressed. So I got up and went to the bathroom. It was completely empty and so my mind took that as the opportunity to break down. I went into a stall and leaned against the door and had a bit of a panic attack. I cried and breathed like I had one lung until someone came in and I mustered up the strength to go back out, wipe the tears from my face and go back to staring out the window until my mother finished her drink. Eventually we left and I went into my bedroom to cry again but at least I got ice cream after the dinner. Alls well that ends well!
Look like 2017 is going to be the year for me! #prayforjags (I’m definitely going to get murdered)