i don’t even know but kill me

lol just wrote this should probs put a disclaimer cause this shit is really depressing and it talks about suicide and all that fun shit and if you get triggered by that stuff then don’t read this sorry to those will read this and fucking hate me forever.

I’m at a really low point right now. I have no idea why but I just feel so numb and so tired of life. I’m craving self-harm right now. I just want to feel something. I want to see cuts and bruises on my skin. Something to make me feel human again. I feel so zoned out I’m not even sure exactly what I’m typing right now. Sorry if this doesn’t make any sense at all and the punctuation is really shit but I’m just feeling so depressed. I don’t want to do anything. I don’t even know why I’ve suddenly gone down hill. I was feeling so happy and care free today. Just like the past few weeks. I haven’t been feelig bad at all in the lkke past month. God I’m dnding it really difficut to lfit my fingers right now I feel lke I can barely even move. my Muscels and everything are so numb I can’t even be botered to go ack and edit this. I’m normally so careful with typos and shit but tbh i just dont care right now. Jesus crhist i dont want to break my streak of being clean. ihaven’t self harmed ib so long but its  all i really want right now. i really need it. fuck i said i wouldnt do this and look at me now im just being such a fyckig stupud dramatic bitch i cant even write blog posts properrly . what the  fck is wrong with me. Oh great and now im crying why am i suchh a fuckibg wuss ishould be able to deal with this shit. i just cant anymore. i cant even lift my arm.s kill menow just fucking kkill me now. i dont deserve anything i just want to die fuck kill me fuck fuck fuck. my stomach is tightening and i feel like im gonna cvomit but i know i wont causse i have nno reason to.b i didnt even go for a run today and i ate so much chocolate im so bad fuck me kill me just fucking kill me i dont want to live kill kill kill/my eyes cant even focs on anything now im just writin gthis blindly i dont know whats happening but im gonna go annd sepfnharm now cause im a    oitoenbiitch who cant handole anything and i dnt want to be fucking like this anymre k bye.

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